Love’s been big on my list, big on my mind recently.
I’m looking for it and would like 2018 to be the year of love.
Not the love that comes from someone else (I’ve got that already).
Rather, love for myself by myself.
Living in Love. Creating from a place of love. Loving what I do and doing what I love.
I’ve spent many years trying to find it outside of myself – in the feeling of significance being on stage gives to me, the recognition of being a successful business owner, in my relationships….
And it seems that right now the need for Inner Love is catching-up with me.
It seems that everything is urging me to fill the void that’s in my heart from the inside, not from the outside.
As if the universe were whispering in my ears: “Time to get serious Anne, you know what you really have to do”. I guess the problem with outside love is that it dries out at some point?
But I have no idea where to start.
The truth is, I’m using vocabulary and dwelling on themes – universe, love, chakras, Source… – that are completely new to me.
I just sense that this is my next big project: Self Love – who would have thought? And it both puzzles and scares me… How do you prioritize self love when you’re actually lacking in it? Everything seems so much more important.
I wonder, writing these words, if I sound like I’m having a pity party. Poor little dancer, she is surrounded by friends, has a loving family and wonderful partner, and she doesn’t love herself… I’m not though, and maybe that’s a sign of how dry my heart is.
Recently in Siem Reap, Cambodia, I did a chakra restoring session – which is as crazy and wonderful as it sounds.
Adele, the woman who ‘helped me’ (I’m not sure how to call her… a healer? a spiritual teacher?) was so loving. Definitely made me realise the importance of love.
She suggested that each of our many many many lives is a lesson for our souls.
And that maybe the lesson for my life right now is to love myself.
Hopefully, it takes less than a lifetime though. I’d like to enjoy some of that.