Recently, I have realised that my dream life has come true.
The life I had fantasized about years ago when I was still a consultant and felt trapped.
Now I have absolute freedom. I am paid to dance, perform, write. I have my own company – with absolute creative freedom and an amazing team. I have the time to develop as an artist.
Just writing that, even though I know of all the tears and hard work that have gone into building this – I can’t believe my luck.
It is so good.
Dancing is so good.
Being Free is so good.
Making a positive difference in people’s lives is so good.
And I don’t want to screw it all – all the gifts I’ve received – out of laziness and not working enough.
I have to deal with fear already, which tends to make me play small. I don’t want to add to that “not working enough”. Move Your Ass, as Pablo says.
Up until now, my main “enemy” hasn’t been Laziness, though (I feel like I have been working non-stop, every day of the week and with no holidays for the past 7 years)… but rather, ‘Multidirectional Action’.
I’ve known for years that I wasn’t focusing enough to get to the results I wanted at the pace I wanted – in my skills, in my income, in my work-life balance – but working on one thing only is incredibly difficult for me.
Just the thought of it makes me go into panic mode.
But now I’ve finally understood that skills do build onto each other and that by truly mastering something you open doors for more exciting opportunities. Also, I can feel that my soul and my ego need to NOT feel like beginners anymore – at least for a while.
They are both crying out for a sense of direction – Just Make A Decision and stick to it, Lady, please.
All that to say that now I have a Tango school and it’s really kicking my butt to become an outstanding dancer and a fierce artist. For the first time, I am finding focus in my art.
So I’ve been thinking a lot recently about what it takes to become very good at a craft.
In my case, it is all about taming the small yet mighty voices inside that relentlessly whisper in my ear; ‘why don’t you try out pole dancing? It looks like so much fun’, ‘When are you writing your next book?’, ‘Didn’t you want to be an actress?’, ‘You’ll give up anyway so why bother?’….
I’ve lived with them for years…. but it turns out that all I needed was 100+ students, a busy Facebook page and loads of people asking for inspiration for me to go…. ‘oh…. I guess this is serious now’….:)
And now back to practice…